The Adventure - Angels and Airwaves

The Adventure

I wanna have the same last dream again

The one where I wake up and I’m alive

Just as the four walls close me within

my eyes are opened up with pure sunlight

I’m the first to know 

my dearest friends

even if your hope has burned with time

anything that’s dead shall be regrown

and your vicious pain, your warning sign

you will be fine.

Hey oh here I am

and here we go life’s waiting to begin

any type of love- it will be shown

like every single tree reach for the sky

if you’re gonna fall

i’ll let you know

that i will pick you up

like you for i

i felt this thing

i can’t replace

where everyone was working for this goal

where all the children left without a trace

only to come back as pure as gold

to recite this all

hey oh here i am 

and here we go life’s waiting to begin

tonight

hey oh here i am 

and here we go life’s waiting to begin

tonight

hey oh here i am 

and here we go life’s waiting to begin

i cannot live i can’t breathe

unless you do this with me

i cannot live i can’t breathe

unless you do this with me

i cannot live i can’t breathe

unless you do this with me

i cannot live i can’t breathe

unless you do this with me

i cannot live i can’t breathe

unless you do this with me

i cannot live i can’t breathe

unless you do this with me

Hey oh here i am (do this with me)

and here we go life’s waiting to begin (do this with me)

Hey oh here i am (do this with me)

and here we go life’s waiting to begin life’s waiting to begin life’s waiting to begin.

This past year has been the year from hell. One thing right after another. Crap literally just kept getting piled on to my life and I couldn’t keep up. At first I kept praying and seeking for God’s help in figuring that stuff out, and when I was getting nothing I quickly just turned to Him for comfort. Nothing. So then it became me asking God to do anything at all so that I could feel any part of Him. I felt nothing for so long I started getting angry, confused, depressed, blah blah blah... Then I came to this very dangerous place where I just finally gave up. Apathy was the only relief I felt from anything. The less I cared about the less I had to be sad, depressed, angry, confused about. I was in that state for what seemed like forever. Occasionally there would be these stars, tiny lights of reason, but they burned out quickly.  I had zero hope. For anything.

Here lately I have been feeling a stirring in my life, God pursuing me. I have been somewhat trying to fight it though because I have been scared.  I felt totally and utterly abandoned by Him for over a year now.  I’ve been afraid to let myself be that vulnerable again.  August 10th, Angels and Airwaves did a live broadcast of their new movie LOVE all across America. Thank God it made it to Springfield.  The movie was very much so an independent film. One of those that you’re kind of just like meh the whole movie. However, the end of this movie tied everything together in a nice and neat little package, what seemed like, just for me. The importance of letting yourself be vulnerable and be loved and love in return is grave. Our sanity even depends on it.  You can only go so long floating in life completely alone before it literally drives you mad. We are social beings. We were created for this very reason. 

This song really kind of defines all of this for me. One line in particular.  “Even if your hope has burned with time, anything that’s dead shall be regrown.”  These past 13 or 14 months of my life are living proof of this quote.  I had started to seclude myself to a select few people and they were all I talked to or hung out with, but now that group of people has at least doubled and being around people, around all of those different dynamics, its like your first breath out of the water when you’ve been holding it for so long. It’s like fresh life. I was definitely dying, slowly but dying nonetheless. But now things are coming back to me. Life, is coming back to me.