Change is Inevitable. Except From a Vending Machine.

One of the hardest things about change is being outside of your comfort zone.  I myself am a major creature of habit with everything in my life, even with things as small as what I eat and drink.  I am a fairly predictable person.  Except for when my life has to undergo a major reconstruction.  It's usually predictable that I will freak out and have a meltdown, but how this said meltdown will show it's ugly face is exceptionally unpredictable.  Sometimes I get extremely angry, other times I go all Boo Radley on the world and become a shut in.  Sometimes I cry for days, other times I become bulletproof.  Some like to call me a bitch when I get that way, but I choose to see it as a defense mechanism.  My point is I lose my mind a little during this process.  I don't handle change very well in my life. 

But then again, who honestly does? How can you handle it well, really?  Everything in your life as you know it changing.  Take for example right now in my life, in the past two years I fell in love and got my heart severely broken, had a close friend ignore me for a month and then go back and forth with being friends at all, had my best friend move back home 3.5 hours away right in the middle of some serious change in my life, had some other "friends" make comments both behind my back and to my face basically calling me an alcoholic slut, had a new close guy friend try to break the friendship barrier and now everything is awkward/ruined, reunited with some old friends from high school, had an extremely close friend leave to go to Greece for 3 months, had my relationship with God tested to its breaking point, blah blah blah.  How am I supposed to deal with this calmly and rationally?  Especially when one or two weeks a month my body turns me into a mood swinging beast.  

Even though some of these changes probably are for the greater good, until I get used to life again it sucks and I'm freaking out in a new way every day, multiple times a day.  It's even harder going through some thing like all of this when the people you can talk to are limited.  I guess all I'm saying is something we all have known. I just hate rediscovering it in a new way.  Life sucks. And there isn't anything we can do about it.